If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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