Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
