Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
