Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
