So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
My cat gives me a boner
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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