I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
