he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Randomize
