We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
