I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
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Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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