this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
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