so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
