he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
whose parrot is this?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
