Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
