it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
