I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
