OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
