Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
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