Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
