the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
