This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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