Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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