if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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