I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize