Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Randomize
