i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize