Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
