just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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