whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
