just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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