so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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