I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
