that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
are you so shy because you have an std?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
