if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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