lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
