I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
