Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
