I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
