Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
