i just google imaged poop.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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