Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
