Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
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My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
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Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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