You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
