I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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