My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
