the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
