wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
