Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
either way he was missing a nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Randomize