my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
