Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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