Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Randomize