carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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