I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
