I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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