I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
