It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
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Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
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Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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