Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
jump out the window naked night went bad
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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