I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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