I hate all girls vehemently.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
