party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
