I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Randomize
